Since being exposed to the reality suffering on my first visit to the slums of Rio de Janeiro and serving the homeless and drug addicted in Toronto I have learned one important lesson: We can’t start to understand people’s suffering until we enter into it with them.
In the past two years two instances of suffering stand out in my life. The death of Jennine’s (my wife) grandmother and Jennine giving birth to our baby. Accompanying people in their suffering has taught me an important lesson about compassion and human dignity.
Courtesy of Unsplash.com by Ryan Moreno
Suffering With Loved Ones
At this time “Assisted suicide” or “assisted dying” is being promoted here in Canada. Ending the suffering of individuals by taking their life is viewed as compassionate giving them the opportunity to “die with dignity.” But is taking one’s own life (with the assistance of a medical professional or not) a dignifying end to life?
It’s something, but it’s not compassionate nor dignifying. The word “compassion” is constructed of two Latin words. “Com” meaning “with” and “passion” meaning “to suffer.” So compassion actually means “to suffer with.” When people express that they are passionate about something, whether they know it or not, they are actually implying that they would suffer for whatever it is they feel passion towards.
Death, Where Is Your Victory?
Alleviating suffering by means of suicide reduces the dignity of human persons to that of a house pet or farm animal. When Jennine’s grandmother was battling cancer she suffered a lot. The easy way out would have been simply to give in, but she fought with dignity until she passed away in peace. With every ounce of strength she attempted to stand up on her own, to eat on her own, to use the bathroom on her own, to encourage her family members. In this instance family members entered into the suffering of Jennine’s grandmother.
Perhaps one of the most difficult things in life is to watch a loved one suffer. Without a doubt I know Jennine’s mother would have taken the place her own mother as she laid in pain. It would have been an easy step for both Jennine’s grandmother and the rest of the family to have her life ended. Her grandmother would be at peace and the rest of the family’s emotional suffering would have been eased knowing that she is no longer suffering.
This courage reminds me of what the Apostle Paul said about suffering. Paul writes, “Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death where is your sting?”
Life’s purpose is not only defined by the good moments, but also by how well we can conquer through the bad moments. We should never encourage anyone to give into suffering, rather we should be encouraging them to conquer through it.
So, as a society, who will we hand victory to? Death or Life?
Question: Have you ever witnessed a loved one suffering? How did you respond to it?
