Confidence – Clearly Catholic

As two of my friends and I got off the school bus back in the 10^th grade and started walking to our homes, one of them started to express his thoughts about a girl he wanted to ask out.

As he continued to speak about this young woman, his speech quickly devolved into something resembling trash. My other friend felt inspired and added his bit of colourful language to the discussion.

While I felt uneasy about the direction their conversation was heading, I must admit I felt the temptation to join in. In high school, I was super awkward (not that I’m not awkward now) and easily gave into peer pressure. Sounds cliché, but I just wanted to fit in with the “cool kids” – whatever that meant back in 2005.

As a former atheist I believed three things about having faith in God.

First, I believed that God was no different from childhood wishful fantasies such as the Tooth Fairy or Santa Clause. I also believed that God was a “god of the gaps”; an explanation for natural phenomena that is yet to be explained by science. Ancient mythical gods fall into this category along with the plethora of gods recognized in classical Hinduism.

Second, I believed that if God did turn out to be real he’s a real jerk. He always seemed to be in competition for my happiness. To me it seemed that God put up a bunch of rules/commandments that kept me from experiencing freedom. You know which “rules” I’m referring to: No sex before marriage; Even after I get married I have to be “open to life.” It seemed to me there were really two options:

a) have a million kids or…

b) abstain from sexual intimacy.

And perhaps the worst “rule” to abide by was being forced to sit through an agonizing hour of church every Sunday. “What a party pooper!” so I thought.

Courtesy of Unsplash.com by Liane Metzier

Tag: Confidence

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